


Fade Into You

by Queen_Morbid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Love, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 16:52:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Morbid/pseuds/Queen_Morbid





	Fade Into You

Blonde hair framed her shoulders, each lock formed into its own natural, wavy, tendril. Blue eyes scouted the newspaper in front of her, desperately trying to force the events from the previous night from mind. For the last few weeks, she had been staying in some underground safe house with the Winchester brothers. A poltergeist had invaded her house, completely wreaking chaos on her life, and in an attempt to kill her, the entity had caused an unsettling fire.

The brothers had saved her in the nick of time, even expulsing the spirit in the process. All her life savings had been invested into that small, cozy house. And then it was burnt to the ground by an angry spirit, who had no control of its emotions, who had stayed far too long on earth without resolving what needed to be resolved. Dean and Sam had felt bad and offered her a place to stay until she could get on her feet.

A month later and she had grown inseparable from the brothers, even aiding them in finding cases. Of course, they wouldn’t allow her on hunts, given she had no idea about the life. She had a lot to learn, but they were willing to teach her, although Dean hesitated at first. Yet Lucy was stubborn and demanded that they teach her everything they knew, and both men assumed that she wouldn’t give up until she got her way.

It was only a matter of time before all three of them had an unyielding bond. Sam was sort of like the brother she had never had but always wanted. And Dean, well, he was all kinds of dreamy and sexy that she just couldn’t get enough of. When the two Winchesters weren’t on a case, they were at the bunker with Lucy, drinking, watching movies, or opening up to her. Both brothers realized that they hardly spoke about their emotions, but once she came along, they couldn’t help but talk to her. She had a gravitational pull that entrapped everyone close enough and drew them in.

It was only natural that they doted on her, confided in her with the things that they couldn’t tell themselves or one another. They knew almost immediately just how amazing she was, and that despite everyone that they got attached to, ended up dead. They wanted her to stick around, it was like finally having the family they had so desperately wanted their entire lives.

On the nights that Sam went to bed early, her and Dean would stay up talking. Developing feelings for him couldn’t be helped, sure he was hot as all hell, but there was something different about him. He had experienced so much, and despite faking a hard exterior, she could see the softness in his eyes. She could see that all he wanted was to be happy, for his brother to be happy. All he wanted was to make the world a better place, and he’d die happily for others because he felt they all deserved better than he did.

But she didn’t see him that way, she found him just as worthy as anyone else. If not, even more so. She knew he had a huge heart and probably cared far more than he should. Yet, she knew that was what made him, well him. He was selfless and brave and would do whatever it took to protect a stranger. He would sacrifice his soul, his heart, and his life on any given day for his baby brother. Sam was the one-person Dean loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally, and even though others had said their relationship was codependent and vile, she found it rather breathtaking.

Lucy had never had any close relationships with anyone. She was raised in the system and found that she did better on her own. Others were too judgmental and critical, and she didn’t need to be that person who others felt bad for. She didn’t need the pity, she didn’t anything from anyone. She just needed herself and a bit of happiness.

So, when she saw the closeness of Dean and Sam, her heart could only swell with desire. She never realized how alone she was until she observed the two siblings. It must have been a euphoric feeling to have someone other than yourself, in the world.

After days and weeks of bottling up the feelings that surely developed for him, the night before she had decided to open up, to let him on the secret she had been keeping. However, it was something she wished she hadn’t done because the result was the most painful thing she had ever experienced.

It had been one of those nights where Sam retired to bed early. Lucy and Dean unable to sleep, decided to stay up and have a few beers. She was silent, listening intently to his ramblings, allowing him to unleash some of the pain he kept pent up. This was a subject they hadn’t spoken about before, and she knew it still affected him in the worst possible ways.

“She lied to me. I was a kid. She promised she’d keep me safe. And then she makes a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved my Dad’s life, but I’ll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing into Sammy’s room because of her deal. She left us. Alone.” He strained his jaw, hand gripping the beer bottle tightly.

He continued speaking, Lucy feeling the tightening of her stomach in angst. “Cause’ Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family was gone. And I, I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep Sam safe. And that wasn’t fair. And I couldn’t do it.” He choked back gently, trying so hard to be that strong, stubborn man.

“And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of her. All of it was because of her. I hate her. I hate her. And I love her. Cause’ I can’t – I can’t help it. She’s my Mom. And I understand cause’ I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive her. I forgive her. For all of it. Everything.” He said with a defeated tone.

All she could think about doing was wrapping her arms around him and hugging all his pain away, but she couldn’t. The damage that was dealt with had been dealt years ago and that was something she couldn’t ever erase. So, she just grabbed one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, reassuring him in whatever way she could.

“I am really sorry Dean, I know whatever I say will ever fix anything. But I am sorry. You know better than anyone else, that things do happen for a reason. The reason all this unfolded, beginning with your parents was so you and Sam could be the heroes the world needs. You both have done so much and no one besides the people you save knows. The life you were forced to live wasn’t and probably will never be the greatest, but you and Sam have saved the people who needed it most. I speak for everyone who can’t say it to you, thank you. Thank you for selflessly risking your lives and proving that there is good out there. Thank you…” She breathed out, blue eyes skittering to his mossy ones.

Her words had touched him in a way that words never had before. She was one of the purest souls he had ever met, she was gorgeous and kind, and everything good in the world, wrapped in a perfect package. Yet when he looked into her eyes, he saw something that made him petrified. He hadn’t ever seen that look in anyone else, besides maybe Sammy.

It was a look of admiration, adoration, and love. Yet it was a different type of love than the one his brother held for him. This was the most intimate type of love, the one that could eviscerate hearts and souls. He knew women like the back of his hand, and although Lucy was completely different. Her emotions were still worn on her face as clear as day.

There was already a lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow past it. She needed to get whatever she felt off her chest, or else she’d never say anything to him. They had become close, and basically confided in each other about everything, so why not this? However, the chance of denial kept making her open and close her mouth, unsure of how to say what she needed to say.

“Dean, if I don’t say this now, I’m never going to be able to say it. I know the timing is pretty shitty, but just let me say it, please.” She said.

His gaze was glued to her, unwavering if he wanted to move it elsewhere. He knew what she was going to confess, he could see the words already forming on the tip of her tongue. He couldn’t allow her to get too close to him, he couldn’t let her love him, because he didn’t even love himself. He was a tattered and broken man.

“I’m in love with you, and I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings, but I needed you to know what I feel. I’ve never been in love before, and I’m not sure how this works. I just know how you make me feel, and how I feel for you. I had to say it, even if this ruins our friendship.” She voiced.

His gaze immediately shifted, his tongue rolling over his lips before looking down. A hand clasped the glass bottle tighter before he rose to his feet, unable to deal with her confession. Lucy was everything a guy could ask for in a woman. Beauty, a caring heart, selfless, smart, sassy, stubborn. He would be a fool to not have thought about being with her at least once.

But did he feelings go past anything but platonic?

Yes, they did. But he couldn’t be in a relationship with her, he couldn’t risk her life for his own selfish reasons. So, he would deny what he felt about her, stuff it down until he could only feel the lingering of those emotions.

Refocusing his eyes on her, he’d slightly lean away, knowing that his words would break her. “I can’t sweetheart, I don’t do relationships. I snag em and bag em. I refuse to just bag you, you’re my friend. That’s all I see you as, just a friend.” He shrugged, forcing a nonchalant expression onto his visage.

Then before she could get a word in, he was standing up and disappearing down the hallway. Lucy sat there, taking in what he said. Listening to the echoing of his voice in her head, completely new to the experience of heartache. Sure, she had dated and had sex before, but she had never been in love. Being in love, sucked, she confirmed. Especially being in love with someone who didn’t love you back. Salty tears welled up in her eyes, silently breaking free and free-falling down rosy cheeks.

 

Thinking back on the previous night, had her stomach swirling around anxiously. She had decided it would be best if she left the bunker, finally got back on her own feet. At least with the information she got from Dean and Sam, she’d be able to somewhat take care of herself if anything supernatural came a-knockin’.

The rustle of newspaper sounded as she flipped the page, skimming over the job section. She circled one’s that appealed to her or at least she knew she had a chance of getting. Then there was the familiar shift in the air whenever Dean came in. However, this time it wasn’t welcomed with butterflies, it was drowned in the dropping of her heart.

“Mornin’.” He said.

Lucy kept her attention on the paper in front of her, refusing to acknowledge him. Refusing to let him know just how much he had hurt her. The wound was still fresh, still stinging with rejection. She didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough for him, and then she thought maybe it was for the best. She had seen the way Dean slept with a new woman almost every day.

Yeah, it definitely was for the best.

His facial hair had managed to grow out even more so, body clad in a flannel and a pair of jeans. His hand was curled around a mug of joe, which he took a small sip of before realizing she hadn’t greeted him back. He had to play it cool, like the fact that she was ignoring him, hadn’t hurt. Cause’ it did, he didn’t want her to hate him, or pretend he wasn’t there.

“Lucy?” He questioned.

“I get it, Dean, you just fuck women, you can’t ever be in a relationship with them. Especially one who is your friend. Save your breath.” She retorted.

Brows furrowed at her statement before he strode towards her, unable to deal with the hurt in her voice. Which he caused, it was all his fault. He leaned over her, grasping her chin gently within his palm. He turned her face to him, gazing longingly into her baby blues. “You’re not just any girl, Luce. You’re the most amazing, beautiful, caring, woman I’ve ever met. You make me think there’s good in me, you make me believe that what I do, is actually makin’ a difference. Seein’ you every day, makes me love you more.” He confessed.

Startled, she could only sit there, allowing his thumb to brush across her chin. His calloused flesh only coaxing out the butterflies, her heart calling out to him yearningly. “You told me you only saw me as a friend.” She recollected.

Slowly, he kneeled in front of her, hands making their way to her waist where they sat promptly, almost in a claim-staking fashion. “I lied, I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I pulled you out of that fire. I loved you every step of the way. But that look in your eyes? It terrified me. You terrified me. The only person who has ever seen me as not a fuck up is Sammy. And look at how many times I’ve let him down. I couldn’t let you down too, Luce. I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t live, if you got killed because of me. I wouldn’t ever to snuff that guilt because you are the most precious god damn thing to me. You and Sammy and Cas are all I have left. Losing any one of ya would be the end, it would be the end of me…” His eyes started growing hazy, tears fighting their way forward.

Lucy could only feel her heartbreak at his words, knowing that he carried the world on his shoulders. He didn’t want to be a failure and he didn’t want to lose his family. She never realized that he had been in love with her either.

Never noticed the caring looks he gave her when she wasn’t paying attention. Never noticed the protective glares he’d give to any man trying to flirt with her when they were all out. Never noticed the sexual longing he had growing in his jeans when she was bent over in front of him in the kitchen. Never noticed the way his eyes burned to life any time he was looking at her, talking to her, being by her.

She never noticed it.

Leaning forward she would place her hands on either one of his cheeks, her voice coming out hushed. “You could never fail us, Dean, we think highly of you for a reason. You’re a strong man, one of the strongest I’ve ever met. One of the best, you deserve to be happy too. You deserve love.”

His lips were quick to capture hers in a crushing embrace, hands tangling into Lucy’s blonde locks. She responded instantly, coiling her arms around his neck and drawing his body snug against hers. Love and devotion were poured into that one simple kiss, that one kiss that confirmed their feelings for one another.

“I love you Lucy, and I’d die for you.” He said, truth seeping from every word.

Their foreheads touched, her index finger stroking his jaw. “I love you too Dean. Always.” She promised.

Being a hunter wasn’t easy, you could die at any given day, or lose someone close to you. But he finally realized that he deserved someone to love him, deserved to be happy. Deserved to find a balance in all the chaos. He’d protect the world, but he’d also protect Lucy.

It had been written in the stars that Dean Winchester and Lucy More were destined to be together. They just didn’t know it yet.


End file.
